


The day my lover died

by Nekomiya



Category: DRAMAtical Murder
Genre: Crack, Food Play, M/M, Noodles, Other, haha i crack myself up, heck, i did it guys, im going to hell, koujaku/lasagna - Freeform, laaazagnuh, lasagna, lasangua, mama mia thats a spice, more like mAMA MIYA
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-02
Updated: 2014-08-02
Packaged: 2018-02-11 10:10:28
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,160
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2064066
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nekomiya/pseuds/Nekomiya
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Aob will never forget the day that changed his life forever. He'd rather forget about it, but how could he?</p>
            </blockquote>





	The day my lover died

**Author's Note:**

  * For [The world](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=The+world).



Aoba took in a deep breath as he laid his head against his pillow. It had been an extremely long month for him. He was extremely exhausted... Why the hell did this keep happening anyway? Every time he fell in love with one of his potential lovers, something fucked up would happen. Like seriously? Clear and that fresh macaroni got fuckin married, Noiz fucks spaghetti noodles e veryday, and then... The thing that fucked him up the most. God fucking damn what the hell was this real life or a nightmare? He was about ready to give up on love. Was Mink's route still open or nah? Maybe he'd check that out tomorrow. But anyway, he still would never be able to get what happened out of his head with Koujaku. Dam

 Once, he had fallen asleep on Koujaku's bed after a long around of awkward blushing and kissing. They only made it to first base, anal sex, but then he had fallen asleep. He could barely feel that four inch doinker inside of him, but it still felt good. 

He could remember awaking to the sound of something kinda squishy, moaning, and a few amounts of squelching here and there. Then, there was also a strong scent lingering in the air. It was really Italian smelling. Tomato sauce, garlics and... cheese? Feeling his stomach knot up, he went to investigate.

He parkoured off the bed and flopped over to the bathroom. He used his blue hair tentacles to open the door and peek in. He couldn't believe his ears as he saw that weird scene in front of him.

Koujaku was sitting in his bathtub.

His bathtub filled with lasagna.

Steamy lasagna.

Why

There was so much lasagna how did he even cook it all what the fuck

There he was; laying in a pile of lasagna. It went up to his chest and his hand was under some of it too. It looked like he was touching his wankie if anything. Aoba swallowed hard and felt himself tear up.

This was yet another fucked up scene. Damn it why couldn't he have a normal sex life? Maybe he should go for his dog. That couldn't get too fucked up- hopefully. 

The hairdresser relaxed into the lasagna and let out a shaky sigh. He rubbed a large slice of the lasagna around his beef whistle and squeezed it tightly around the tip. This was better than any ass or cat he had ever fuck this was magic praise the yaoi lord. His fingers squeezed around the crown of his flesh tower and he groaned again. His thumb slipped back and forth on the slit with slight force. He always pleasured himself just like this in his alone time. If he could have things his way, then he would flood the entire world with lasagna. That'll show you john. Fuck you john. 

"A-Aoba..." 

The blue haired male was about to walk away, but then he heard his name. Instinctively, he threw open the door and entered with ease. He smoothed back his hair with his hand and tried to act cool. 

"Yes, kouhai-chan?" 

"A-Aoba senpai!" 

Koujaku was taken aback with surprise and stood up out of the pile of noodles. He reached out to his lover, but then put his hands up defensively. 

"Aaaah... This isn't what it looks like." He made that sound Koujaku makes. "Y-You see I was just..." 

"Are you trying to tell me you weren't touching your mayo shooting hot dog gun? I don't believe that."  Sly smirked and closed the door to the bathroom with his tail. "Go ahead and continue, but this time... I want you to look directly into my eyes." 

Koujaku shook his head and blushed the shade of shiroba's nipples. 

"N-No baka! I can't! It's too hazukashi!" 

"It's daijoubu." 

"Oh, okay." 

Koujaku placed his scarred hands back onto his DNA rifle and pumped it slowly while he looked at Sly's naked body. He took stared at every part of his small frame. He admired his 89 pack, his rock hard nips and that stinky pickle with the pink tip dripping with precum. He let out a broken sob and squeezed his own pork sword even tighter in all the right spots. The marinara sauce dripped down his body and back into the tub as well as his semen dripping from the end of his single barrelled pump action bollock. 

"A-Ah... It feels good, Aob... It feels really sugoi." 

Sly nodded and scooted closer to the taller male. He snaked his arms around his waist and slammed their bodies together. He inhaled deeply and smelled all of the lasagna all over him. Soon, he was covered in it too. He shoved Koujaku against edge of the tub and grabbed a handful of lasag. He shoved his entire fist up the cowjacket's ass and rammed it in there hell yeah come on and slam

"Ugh-" Koujaku grit his teeth at the sudden pain that filled him up, but slowly got use to it as he was fucked with that hand. The fingers slid around the sides of his walls and brushed up against the good and bad places. Then, he felt his prostate be touched and tucked into bed with a story, and he cried out. 

"F-fcuk! Right there-! Please- Sly- Please!" 

Sly smirked and yanked his hand out. "What do you want, Koujaku?" He whispered into his ear. 

"I want your wing dang doodle up my pooper-! pPlease!" 

"nO. NO NO NO NON O." Aoba came back out and started screaming. "I do not want to do anything with noodles ever again! I'm leaving! This is so nasty! No no no get out of my swamp!" He stormed out and threw his hands up in the air with complete anger. "This is totally bums! Why?!" Then, he left the house by jumping out the door. 

Koujaku was left alone inside of his bathroom surrounded by the lasagna. 

His red eyes filled with tears and he broke down sobbing. He sat down on his pile of noodles and covered his eyes. He was embarrassed as hell and so ashamed, just the same as the writer of this fanfic. Then, a long strand of yum stroked his willy. He bit down on the inside of his cheek and shifted his gaze to look at the offender. 

The lasagna in the tub latched around Koujaku and pulled him into it where he drowned on his lasagna. His twinkie was still hard but then it was calmed as he drowned in the warm embrace of lasagna. 

\--Yeah. That's what happened and Aoba never got over it. Koujaku was dead and his body was gone forever. That was the worst way to ever break up with someone shit. So... 

He opened his coil and began to search through his contacts. He found the one he wanted and called. 

"Aaaaaaaaay... Minku, is your route still up for grabs?" 


End file.
